Maybe, I have this vision that professionals especially Americans in general would be mature and FRANK enough to be able to communicate their feelings, thoughts and what-have-you about something to your face.
Well, I guess, not.
At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter where you are.
People are people. Some mature, most immature. Some straightforward, some timid. Some frank enough to say what they need to say, others talk behind your back.
We were having a discussion one day, and well, the topic was about immigration. The Canadian commented about Americans NOT really wanting to do commoners jobs like farming and all the other blue collar jobs.
Here I was, loudmouth and tactless, commented, well, "I think, because most of them have this superiority complex and I-know-it-all mentality."
The discussion continued. But, I just noticed after that how aloof they were with me!
Mmmm.. true enough! Two of them may have gathered all the other men and women of their race and shared what I said to the rest of the group.
Actually, I never really heard their side. Did they try to counterattack my impressions on them? No. Instead, the more they proved how bi***y they could be! Lol!
They talked behind my back (mmm, at most 3 out of 9 in the group). They said a lot of side comments too - and of course, everything I did, was wrong! Lol! Pity, pity them - because it fell on deaf ears! (Mmm, in fairness, I didn't really hear comments that were worth "nose bleeding", it was kinda shallow for me.) Lol! They were like kids asking for attention (their way!)! Lol!
Did it affect me at all? Maybe, yes, because I am writing about it now. But during that time (say 5 days?) I was indifferent! Lol! (It maybe the "slow processing of what's happening" in my head! Lol!)
I was reacting to the situation, whatever it was. I would listen to their bickering, with indifference. I never attacked while they were trying to attack (through their side comments at my back, had they confronted me or said things at my face then I could have given them my thoughts about it!) but they didn't! - I survived by the way! Lol!
At the end of the trip, I said my piece. This was all a first time experience. First time to camp, to be with international people outside of school and thank you for all the lessons and patience. (Someone said, "Oh, it must have been a culture shock for you!" I didn't reply. I should have said, "Yes, and you just taught me a lot about your culture!")
I think, either I was simply the odd-one in the group, as I always seem! or I just have this tendency to repel in a group setting, Lol! Maybe and I am sure it could be the reason, was that I really just don't go with the flow, at times, well, most of the time, I go against it. Lol!
When I blurted out, my thoughts about them. I wasn't thinking at all! (or maybe at the back of my mind.. I was hoping they would teach me something, or tell me how wronged I was and that was all misconceptions, and I could have accepted and changed that thought... but they didn't!)
I must have been a threat, or they simply didn't have the guts to say whatever to my face! (they needed to do it behind my back! Funny! I thought they were powerful, professionals and superior!)
Will I join international people again (outside of school setting)? I sure will! But maybe a little careful this time, assess the group's bi***y-ness first! Lol!
Well, was I sorry it happened? Nope. What happened needed to happen to teach me lessons. Maybe to teach them lessons too (Mmmm, they must have been sad because I didn't give in to their bi***y-ness, Lol! It would have been a major racist fight! Lol!)
Well, what's the lesson? Either to keep my mouth shut next time and gain bi***y friends, go with the flow and do what they do (complain and lots of it!) or charge everything to experience.
I am rooting for the later.
Continued here - Paradigm Shift - Who's Who? - Lesson Learned